Thursday, June 23, 2005

Day 949 - Where Have I Been?

Evening all,

Well, some of you that return here daily may be wondering where I have been? NO, I was not gambling and I am grateful for that! I continue to work other areas of my recovery to ensure I am always aware that I am a compulsive gambler and to place that first bet would almost assuredly lead to disaster for me.

But, I have not been applying myself to the continuous updates to the blog here as I used to. No real special reason...just busy with other life and sort of in a "nothing much to say" phase.

As the compulsive/impulsive person I am though, as I thought about the fact that I have not been journaling here every single day as I was, and some days not adding anything to the site at all, my first reaction was of course....TO QUIT! To shut it down.... The easy way out still lives inside me in many ways even though I am not gambling anymore.

Thankfully however, I have learned to wait beyond my initial reaction in most situations and this one was no different. After some thought, I realized it was really the journaling that is the most difficult for me to add each and every day since there are really a lot of days I don't have much to say? But, adding the news articles and the saying of the day etc. is not very difficult.

Also, I continue to be amazed at the number of new people that get to this site. Most are searching on "gamblers anonymous" or "gambling addiction" etc. Once they get here MANY of the visitors read through 10-15 pages including the "My Story" section and others. The average time a new visitor spends on my blog is over 15 minutes....that's amazing! Of course all of you who visit often spend considerably less since I believe you are just getting updated with news etc...

So, for now at least I will make a better effort to at least post news every day. I cannot guarantee any personal commentary every day, but I am sure I will write something a few times a week. After all, that part of the blog is really for my own benefit rather than anyone else's. I am not even sure that part ever gets read....

Enough for tonight.

John

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